I often joke that when I was discerning religious life, my mentality was “Apostles or bust”! I had known the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus since I was in eighth grade. I didn’t really know any other religious orders, and truthfully, I didn’t feel the need to explore other options. It was as if my heart already knew where it belonged.
I was first introduced to the Apostles in 2004 as a student at Trinity Catholic School in Tallahassee. Sr. Susan Marie Krupp— who was the assistant principal at St. John Paul II (JPII) Catholic High School—came to our middle school every day to teach Algebra I. I started high school the following year at JPII and encountered several other Apostles there. At the time, I would not have been able to clearly describe the Apostles’ charism, but I knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of it. I experienced their joy, their dedication and their genuine concern for each student—and I was always a grateful recipient of that loving presence.
In 2013, I graduated from Saint Vincent College with a degree in Mathematics and Secondary Education. Not long after, I got a phone call from Sr. Ellen Cronan, who had been the principal at JPII during my senior year. She offered me a job teaching math and coaching at my Alma Mater. The decision felt like a no-brainer. I returned to Florida and spent the next six years teaching, coaching and eventually serving on the administrative team as Director of Athletics and Student Activities. I truly felt like I was living my best life.
About halfway through those six years, things began to shift. In 2016, the Apostles made the difficult decision to leave Tallahassee. Our school community was devastated to lose the Sisters. They had a tremendous impact on the Catholic community in Tallahassee and were instrumental in the school’s foundation and growth since its opening in 2001.
In the weeks leading up to their departure, a quiet question began stirring in my heart: Do I want to be a Sister? Was it possible that God was asking me to consider a path that I had so often joked about when I was in high school?
Fast forward to the summer of 2017. I traveled to Connecticut for the 50th Jubilee celebration of Sr. Veronica Marinari, one of my former high school teachers who became one of my favorite co-workers at JPII. It was on this trip that I realized I could no longer avoid the question on my heart, and for the first time, I allowed myself to seriously consider that God might be calling me to religious life. I had been receiving this subtle invitation for years, but could not bring myself to discern it.
That fall, I went on a discernment retreat with the Apostles in St. Louis, MO. There was a lot to take in. Could God really be asking me to leave everything behind—my family, my career and my plans? Why me? I didn’t feel particularly holy, and my faith wasn’t as strong as I wanted it to be.
Instead of running from these questions, I leaned in. Over the next year and a half, I became more intentional in prayer, received the sacraments more frequently, and spoke regularly with Sr. Angela, the Apostles’ vocation director at the time.
The following spring, I returned to Connecticut for a weeklong pre-postulancy experience. Living with the Sisters, sharing in their ministries, and praying in community was life-giving in a way I hadn’t expected. In the quiet of those days, the Lord gave me a deep and steady peace. I left knowing His invitation was real. The decision now rested with me: did I trust Him enough to have the courage to say “yes”?
In August of 2019, I stepped out in faith and entered the Congregation. Now I am on my greatest adventure to date. Looking back, I can see that the Lord had been gently guiding my heart all along. What once felt like a simple joke—Apostles or bust—was, in fact, the quiet certainty of where He was calling me. In saying “yes”, I continue to discover that His plans are far greater than anything I could have imagined for myself.
